My two best friends broke up today after over a year of being together. Confession, I think I cried more than them as they were super mature about it and still want to be friends.
However, it got me thinking about breakups, particularly teenage breakups and how much of an effect they have on us when most of the time, after a few months or even weeks, you’re better than ever.
So here are my top tips of how to cope with the first few days or weeks of a breakup.
1) Know that your feelings are valid.
Whatever you’re feeling whether its anger, sadness, loneliness or so many other things you may feel after a breakup, it’s valid. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, breakups hit hard for most people and often, particularly for women, it’s said we shouldn’t be so dramatic and should move on. However, different people take different amounts of time to process and cope with situations like these, everyone is individual.
2) There’s no rush.
When my first boyfriend broke up with me, over text might I add, I was in such a rush to get into a new relationship or even just to kiss someone else and make myself feel better. However this majorly backfired as I ended up getting into conflicts of people calling me a slut, a whore and so many other nasty things.
And don’t get me wrong, while there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting with someone else soon after a breakup, all it did for me was make it 100x worse! Also at this time I was 15, there was absolutely no need for me to have a boyfriend and if anything, I should have spent that time working on myself and revising for my exams. However at the time, all I could think about was what that boy had done to me and how I needed to get over him and find a new boyfriend.
Especially in your teenage years but even into your adult years, you have time, you have time to have more experiences and live your life slowly. The right person will find a way to you whether soon after a breakup or years later.
3) Know the world will not end.
I know it may feel like the world is crumbling around you right after a breakup but I promise you, it’s not. Your life will keep going, you’re still living and so are those who really care around you.
In fact, you need to get out and do things, go enjoy yourself and experience things, take your mind off the bad and focus on the good. While it’s healthy to reflect, always reflecting, particular;y after a breakup when it may be negative reflection, it’s also healthy to stop thinking for a bit and go have some fun.
After my first breakup, a couple of days later, I went to Thorpe park with some of my best friends and I cannot explain how much better I felt afterwards.
4) Don’t go through it alone.
Although it may feel as though all you want to do is lie in bed and wallow in self pity, that is possibly the worst thing you could do for yourself.
Go out, see friends, see family, get your life back on track because you have to make those moves, it’s up to you to help yourself feel better.
These are just a few of my tips from my own experiences, I wish you all the best if you are going through something like this and I hope this has helped you even just a bit.
Thank you for reading
Well being with AJ
Wellbeing with AJ 